Priyansha I find solace in you. It's ironic but it's true. And I'm going to try my best to be there for you too. I don't know how I feel but I am glad to be talking to you again. You know I really wanted to get you coffee, but it's always difficult to get the timing right. Right now I really had this urge to get you flowers, I realized I never bought you any. Sorry! They all remind me of you. They're pretty, smell good and are so delicate. They need love and tending to. Just like you. Priyansha you know everything there is to know, please forgive me. Couples fight, they resolve things and I don't think there are any unreconcilable differences between us. You are my entire world dude!! You are my everything!!
Anyways, I understand you know may not be able to keep them hence not being wasteful, its okay if you throw it out (see, it's somewhat challenging to orchestrate this) Take a whiff, thats what you smell like to me. Thats how I close I want to be able to get to you. Month 7 of me being here is complete and I am dying for you. 10 days have gone by since I saw you but it feels like 10 months to me. I miss you. I have missed you terribly.
And Priyansha, please stop ending conversation with phrases that can mean 'goodbye forever' There is no goodbye, only forever when it comes to me and you. You wont get rid of me this easy. I love you
:(((((
I wrote that, tried to buy flowers and my card wont work for payment. I remember the same thing happened previously. I am so sorry.... I love you. You were supposed to get flowers with a note saying 'you know where to find your note' around this time. Im sorry. I love you. It would have been nice to surprise you with something. To be able to make you smile I still wanted to share how I feel hence keeping this up. Priyansha you are my world. You are my everything. And I want to be your everything too. I miss you. You know all this, and I hope you know that I mean it. It's the only thing I want. To be with you and to make you happy. I don't know Priyansha, maybe things would be easier if we were closer. I love you. And I know you love me too. Now before I keep on rambling, I shall sleep
I want to forget u like a nightmare. But sadly I’ll have to go through this. I want to forget u at a press of a button. But I know it’ll take days.
ReplyDeleteTbh I’m also relieved.
No more expectations, no more disappointments, no more anything to look forward to.. no more grief of u going back . it’s a relief !
I wish we had never started talking again after I had started moving on around October ! Everything in Vain! I always have known u have been selfish in this relationship! U could have atleast asked me how I was today !
I’ve got a whole plan in place this time to move ahead .. coz i want it to be wholesome . I really want to move ahead in life and start afresh ! I’m done feeling shitty about myself. I m done listening to things like I’m someone’s world & them ghosting me for 34 hours when I needed that person the most. I’m done feeling insecure. I feel like I become a shitty person when I’m with u. I was never like this. I’m happy I’ll get rid of this fleeting love that you gave me. Coz let’s be real! All you’ve given me is insecurities and ‘fleeting’ love !
Today I felt like I was cheating on u.. that’s when I got to know that I’m really moving on! It’s really happening ! U come & I’ll back 100 steps again .. for what? For u to leave me again .. or u to find other women attractive ! Whatever ! There’s so much on my mind.. after our last msgs ! I wish I had never msged u today. Should have known I’ll be up for one more disappointment. I want to be a new person now. The one who can sleep in peace & does not check msgs at night with anxiety. I don’t want to live u dual life! U really set me free. Somehow my love has never been enough for u. From day one I was just an option for u. Never a priority. U either chose ur self, or anything that u had to do! I was just ur time pass. Whereas I was devoted to u. And hence after u leaving, I was only left with insecurities. Idk how much time I’ll take to get ahead of this. Abhi toh just adjusting with the fact that u won’t be coming ! First the thailand trip.. and now this only ! U must be relieved too! U will be saving so much money ! lol ! I m in 2 minds abt sending u the money. I m hoping u can sell everything u got ! Or maybe ill just send it. I’m broke. But soon I’ll have money. Maybe I’ll send u then. Don’t want u to have anything against me.. or for u to boast anything related to me! I hope to forget you Vishesh, ur touch, the love I’ve always had for u.. before even knowing u.. just like the memories of our times together have faded away! One day I’ll forget u! I’ll live in the present ! And I’ll be v happy ! Raaste mein .. jab milo to haath milaane ruk jaana.. maana ke hum yaar nahi! Lo tey hai ke pyaar nahi .. one last thing I need to do is to remove this blog from my history ! But now I’ll remember the link n I know; sometime here and there I’ll visit it ! But not anytime soon.
Vish u well Vish ! lol ! Love from my side ! Need to break the news to Kiaan that his rainbow eggs ain’t coming ! lol ! That’ll be another episode itself !